There is no doubt that becoming aware of our problems means we are making significant progress. Without it, it would be difficult to change something we don’t recognise. But sometimes we can become so comfortable knowing ourselves that we forget that there’s something that follows this knowledge.
You might say,
“I know I have anger issues.”
“I know I’m quite negative.”
“I know I shut down when I’m upset.”
“I know I can be difficult to communicate with.”
Okay. But what are you doing about it?
That’s the uncomfortable part.
You see, self-awareness can sometimes become a very sophisticated form of avoidance. We can become really good at explaining ourselves without actually changing ourselves.
“Knowing” without change is central to the everlasting punishment of Abū Ṭālib.
He recognised the truth of the message of Rasūlullah ﷺ. He said”
ولقد علمتُ بأن دينَ محمدٍ
من خيرِ أديانِ البريةِ دينًا
لولا الملامةُ أو حذارُ مسبةٍ
لوجدتني سمحًا بذاك مبينًا
I certainly know that the religion of Muḥammad;
Is among the best of religions.
Were it not for the blame and fear of people’s criticism;
You would have found me openly accepting it.
The self-awareness of Abū Ṭālib was not enough. The self-awareness of his own deviation did not prevent his death on deviation.
In this there a lesson here for all of us.
You can know that your anger is hurting your marriage and still continue losing your temper.
You can know that your negativity is affecting the people around you and still continue complaining about everything.
You can know that you’re avoiding difficult conversations and still keep running from them.
You can know exactly what needs to change and still not change it.
At some point, “I know” has to become “I’m making the change”.
And although you won’t suddenly become perfect, because change is usually a slow and slippery slope to climb. But these attempts are all that’s needed to begin rewiring the pathways in your brain and eventually you will find yourself transformed.
Don’t just become someone who is self-aware.
Become someone who is willing to change too.